In what feels like a plot twist straight out of a baseball soap opera, Jarren Duran has officially been suspended and fined by the MBL after testing positive for performance-enhancing drugs. Yep — turns out that recent power surge wasn’t just the result of a new workout plan or protein shake. It was, quite literally, chemically enhanced.
Sources close to the league say officials became “suspicious” after Duran started hitting like a Marvel character — not bad for a guy best known for his speed. After a surprise drug test and some not-so-surprising results, the MBL wasted no time in dropping the ban hammer on the outfielder.
Fans are understandably shocked — and also kind of not. One Reddit user summed it up best: “Bro went from base hits to moonshots overnight. We knew something was cooking.”
Duran, for his part, hasn’t issued a full statement, but did reportedly tell team officials it was an “accidental supplement mix-up.” Classic.
The suspension means he’ll miss a hefty chunk of the season, and the fine? Let’s just say it’s enough to buy a lot of legal protein powder.
Meanwhile, memes are flooding the internet faster than Duran can sprint to first base — including one showing him morphing into the Hulk mid-swing.
Was it worth it? Only Duran knows. But one thing’s for sure: MBL just sent a clear message — you can juice your stats, but not yourself.